This Time Imperfect

Where has my motivation gone?

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 13:07:00 +0000

Yes, I am aware that I have not updated on here in a long while. It's not that I haven't had anything to say because well, I always have something to say but the truth is that I just haven't felt much motivation to write. I guess you could say that I have been dealing with a lot of different things that have kept my mind quite busy. I've had a few health concerns, financial struggles, worries about starting the doctoral program, and issues with work.

BUT, I decided not to make this a "depressing" post because well, who wants to hear something depressing this early in the morning, right? Right.

So instead, I'll tell you about my Halloween weekend and about my plans for this coming week. I'm pretty stoked (:

Halloween weekend was nothing short of amazing! Honestly, it was the best Halloweens I have experienced in a long time. I didn't go to a sleazy club, or haunted house, or huge party, or bar to get wasted (I don't drink anyway). Instead, I spend it with my good friend, Kaella, who I met in person for the first time this past weekend. We met on a livejournal community and have been close friends for quite some time, chatting on AIM, Skype, recording YouTube vids, livejournaling, Twittering, Facebooking, etc. Phew! So yeah, we've grown pretty close but it wasn't until this past weekend that I actually had the opportunity to meet her. [wow... I just realized how Internet-connected I am-- scaryyy]

She was visiting in Orlando with her family and so, of course, I drove up to meet her. We did normal things like going to Downtown Disney, bookstores, Cold Stone, shopping malls, etc. But on Halloween night, we both dressed up as kitty cats and headed for City Walk. I guess I kind of expected that we'd "party it up" or whatever but instead, we ended up doing something way more interesting and so much more fun.

We were at Starbucks and there, we met a group of amazing deaf people. I studied American Sign Language throughout my four years in high school and still remembered quite a bit, so I was able to communicate fairly well. My friend Kaella and I both learned a lot and spent almost three hours sitting there, learning, laughing, and having a GREAT time. I guess I can't quite express with words how awesome and interesting of a night it was. Oh yeah! And we did end up going to a club with one of the deaf men that we met. He was so funny and such a great dancer!

Overall, I had a great weekend and I was very sad to have to leave on Sunday afternoon to come back home. I wish Kaella lived here and that we could hang out every weekend but she leaves for Boston today ):

As for my plans for next week... ready??? I'm going on a Disney cruise with my family. I'm very excited! And yes, I promise I will make a post and maybe even share pictures? Hmmm...

I have a lot more traveling to do...

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 12:56:00 +0000

visited 12 states (24%)
Create'>http://douweosinga.com/projects/visited?region=usa">Create your own visited map of The United States

My First Doctoral Level Class

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:49:00 +0000

Last night I attended my first class at the doctoral level. It's not a class I'm enrolled for but rather a class my advisor teaches and invited me to so that I can "get a feel for what it's like". I honestly wasn't sure what to expect from the experience but I definitely didn't expect any of what it was really like. WOW!

First of all, I was the only student originally from Miami. Man, that was a first! I've been used to being part of the majority all my life, constantly surrounded by Hispanics or at least people originally from here. That's how it was during my childhood; that's how it was during undergrad; that's how it was during my graduate degree at FIU. But last night, I found myself surrounded by students from Russia, Estonia, somewhere in Europe, etc. Yeah, it's cool and all but I felt so WEIRD... like I couldn't relate to these people on any level.

Also, I was the youngest in the group (which was a group of eight, by the way). Everyone else must have been at least 40 y/o WITH experience in the field of Human Resources. This field is completely new to me :(

And finally, I felt intellectually inferior to the rest. I felt intimidated by their intelligence that I often found myself just sitting there, staring at them in awe.Yes, I realize I must have been accepted into the program because the Doctoral Review Committee deemed me capable of successful completion of the program but honestly, I felt the complete opposite of that last night.

What have I gotten myself into??????

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:58:00 +0000

I FINALLY was able to take a cute picture of my Ringo (my dog).
I swear, he hates the camera and how I managed to do this is beyond me.

A Vlog for a Change =D

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 03:36:00 +0000

ALSO... PLEASE CHECK OUT & SUBSCRIBE TO THIS CHANNEL!
OhSoVloggy
That's the channel my friends & I started to keep in touch! :D
Hope you subscribe and enjoy...

Remembering 9/11

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 12:18:00 +0000

I woke up this morning saddened by the memory of Semptember 11, 2001. I felt compelled to attempt writing a poem in memory of the many lives that were affected eight years ago. It's definitely not my best, but at least I tried.

The lives of Americans changed eight years ago,
With the demise of two buildings that were well known.
Unexpected and devastating was the news,
To Americans who in this country grew.

And even to those that recently joined us,
This tragic event will forever hurt them.
For so many people had their life taken away,
By a terrorist attack that would lead our nation astray.

On September 11, 2001, we were left in disbelief,
Many people lost their families and were left to grieve.
The buildings once stood there so strong and proud,
At their loss, the fear in our bodies seemed to scream so loud.

Firefighters, policemen, and even citizens around,
Served as a perfect representation of our nation.
Everyone came together as a family should,
And just like the buildings, strong and proud they stood.

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:17:00 +0000

I feel empty lately; like a very important part of me is missing. Recently, I've been thinking about it a lot, trying to find an answer, perhaps even a solution to this emptiness. I mean, a part of me knows that I've always felt this way to some extent but lately, it's often. I often feel empty, alone, and even like there's something wrong with me. I wish I had someone (besides my family) that I could share things with. But most importantly, I wish I had the faith in God that I once had so many years ago. The saddest part, for me, is that I try to pray, I really do but when I try, I fail. It's like it feels hypocritical to me in some way and I don't want to be that hypocrite that only prays for her own good. I want to pray because I have some kind of connection/ relationship with God. I want to have that again yet I'm finding it so difficult to attain.

I think that many of the bad choices I have made in my recent past have been due to this. I lost my direction, my path. I lost my faith, not completely but greatly. I want to feel connected to something again. I want to feel the love I know I can feel. I want to feel protected. But the most important to me, is for me to learn to love myself. I want to realize all the good that there is in me and I want to love myself for who I am and what I can offer to this world.

I have been experiencing anxiety attacks lately accompanied by recurring nightmares. I feel restless. I have decided that I need to tone my life down. I don't mean I want to do less because I don't. I still want to accomplish my goals. However, I want to learn how to relax... something that has always proven extremely difficult, almost impossible, for me to attain. I want to learn meditation. I am studying Buddhism. I am loving it. It has given me some peace for the past two days. On Saturday, I will attend a Zen Buddhist Temple and I am overly excited about it. It will be a very different experience for me but it's definitely one I'm willing to go through and accept, so long as it means that I will learn to look within myself and be at peace with myself for once.

Today's Crisis

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:39:00 +0000

Today's quote:
"The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow." ~H.G. Wells
I find it amusing, even a little ironic, that this happens to be the quote of the day that appears on my blog's sidebar. Because of it, I decided I'd write about my morning thus far. I warn you, this will probably be a bitchy blog post, if I say so myself.

This morning started off wrong all around. I "forgot" to set my alarm last night... probably because I didn't get home until 3am, at which point I was dead tired. So I woke up at 9am when I was supposed to be at work at the latest 8am. I rushed up from bed, showered, and head out of the house looking like all kinds of crazy. I decided to visit Starbucks' drive thru in order to get my morning fix. I ordered my regular grande soy white mocha and butter croissant and my total was somewhere around $7.00. The young lady that took my order kindly said, "Please drive up" and I did. I handed her my debit card and voila! I was denied for "insufficient funds". Wtf?! No, I'm not rich and I didn't expect there to be thousands of dollars in my bank account, but I knew for a FACT that I had at least those $7.00 in there. Not only was I extremely embarassed at this point... I was beyond PISSED THE FUCK OFF!

It's really the third time this happens to me. Yes, the last time was worse... I had $6,000+ in the bank and my account went -$2,000... for a total theft of $8,000 but still! I've been struggling so bad, just like everyone else, working hard and barely being able to make ends meet. I was in a car accident last week too and I'm supposed to be taking my car to be fixed tomorrow after work. Mind you, I don't have credit cards available to me either. I haven't used a credit card in almost four years.

FUCK MY LIFE TODAY! Seriously.... Man, I sure hope this quote is true...may I wake up tomorrow and be able to just laugh at the sad joke that is my bad luck...

Facebook & MySpace

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 04:53:00 +0000

I remember when I was in high school, I had to use a typewriter given to me by my mother for Christmas for any assignment that needed to be typed. In fact, I didn't own a computer until the very end of my first semester in college. Therefore, prior to having the ability to use a word processing program on a computer to type up assignments, I spent long hours in front of a typewriter re-typing my assignments numerous times because, of course, I lacked the necessary typing skills I needed in order to avoid mistakes.

Life was much simpler back then. (Yes, I realize I'm making myself sound old and believe me, I definitely am not- at least I don't think I am.) But the truth is that yes, life has advanced tremendously within the last ten years. I even remember having a beeper in high school for crying out loud! And mp3 players? Ipods? We didn't have those! We had a Cd Walkman instead.

However, the purpose of this post is not to talk about how much I missed out on in high school. The purpose of this post is actually to prove how much simpler and even more relaxing life was just ten years ago. There was less drama in people's lives. Yes, perhaps there was more deceit, but there definitely was less drama.

As the title of this post reads, I'm going to use the internet phenomenons known as Facebook and MySpace. I've had accounts with both websites. I first had MySpace, became bored of it, and later switched to Facebook. However, this afternoon I was thinking about these "social networking" websites and I wondered: What are their true purpose? I ask because I sometimes feel that somewhere in this world, the creators of these websites had a deviant plan which was to destroy marriages, relationships, friendships, etc instead of actually helping build communication in a healthy manner. Allow me to explain.

It's been on the news. People have divorced because of these websites. Yes, the "cheaters" or "possessive partners" are to blame but I can't help but think that if these sites weren't in place, many people would be less tempted to cheat or become jealous of their partner's friends. Many women, sadly, use these sites to advertise their body and of course, many men are tempted by this. Hence, the more cheating that is taking place. And this can happen the other way around too. Don't think I am simply accusing men of being unfaithful. It's just that more often than not, that's how it turns out.

Then we have what people refer to as "MySpace & Facebook stalkers". These are the people that "stalk" their significant other/anybody else's profile and of course, as you can imagine, this leads to many problems. Actually, now that I think about it, this is what sparked this whole topic in my mind today. I remember that MySpace was accused numerous times for being a "trouble maker" because supposedly, people's profiles were easily accessible for said "stalkers". But, today I realized that Facebook is probably 10 times more accessible and regardless of your privacy settings, you are easily found. I'm not familiar with MySpace as it is today exactly, but I know that on Facebook, your wall even displays when you comment on someone's STATUS! Seriously? Is that really necessary? I guess it just feels like you're being completely exposed and tracked on these websites. And really, how is this healthy? How is this productive?

So I guess I'll end my rant here. I suppose I just wanted to get this off my mind. I wish people would take things such as these websites less seriously. I also wish that these websites would take your privacy a little more into consideration. Yes, some people may argue with me that it's actually a good thing because this way you know "everything" but do you really? Do you really think you know everything your significant other is doing based off his/ her wall on Facebook? C'mon now. Your partner may have the cleanest wall to have ever been on Facebook but he/ she may still be banging the secretary or the boss. Let's just be realistic here.

Sinusitis?

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:54:00 +0000

Lately... well, not lately... for a long time now actually, I have been getting these terrible "headaches". I don't know if they're actually headaches or migraines or what but they have been driving me crazy. When I describe them to people, I have been told time and time again that they're probably sinus headaches. I've been trying to do the research today but the symptoms seem very similar to those of a migraine, causing me a lot of confusion. Yes, I realize I should see a doctor but I have in the past and have gotten the following answer: "You're probably not sleeping enough." Well, while that is true, many times the reason I can't sleep is because of these "headaches/migraines". Every time I close my eyes, I feel a painful pressure in my eyes that feel as though my eyes want to just pop out of their sockets.

This is the information I found online on mayoclinic.com:

Sinus headache symptoms may include:

* Pain, pressure, and fullness in your cheeks, brow or forehead
* Pain may worsen when you bend forward or lie down
* Yellow-green or blood-tinged nasal discharge
* Sore throat
* Fever
* Cough
* Fatigue

So what's the confusion with migraines? The signs and symptoms of the two types of headaches often overlap. Migraine pain often gets worse when you bend forward, and migraines can be accompanied by various nasal signs and symptoms — including congestion, facial pressure and a clear, watery nasal discharge.

All of that information sounds about right, especially the pain, the pressure, and even the blood-tinged nasal discharge. But then of course, my mum tells me that it could also be high blood pressure which worries me tremendously too. However, if that were the case, I'm amazed I haven't dropped dead just because of the simple consistency of these "headaches".

I will be making a doctor's appointment soon, definitely. I'm just so very confused about this and also highly annoyed. I can't stand the continuing of this pain and discomfort. It only gets worse and less bearable.

The Time Traveler's Wife

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:32:00 +0000

I really want to see this movie but first, I want to read the book. I actually bought it a couple of days ago and have already begun reading it. So far, I like it. I like the author's writing style and to me, that's of greatest importance. There are so many "classics" that I can't read because the author's writing style just doesn't appeal to me.

Anyway, here's the trailer to the movie in case you haven't seen it yet. Also, if you've read the book, I'd love to hear your review :D

Immaculate Deception

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 05:27:00 +0000

I've been on somewhat a Black Sabbath kick today... and I've heard this song probably 100 times in the process... love it!

Yes, I'm Very Grateful

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:12:00 +0000

I follow (stalk) Pink [Alecia Moore] on Twitter :) This morning she was asking tweeters to reply to her listing three things they're grateful for. Then I thought, this would make for a great, uplifting blog post! I've decided not to limit myself, though, since I am indeed allowed more than 140 characters on my blog. Ha Ha! Here goes!

I am grateful for my family.
My family is definitely the most important aspect of my life. Without my family I'd be a lost soul. That I know for a fact. Everything I do... every decision that I make, I make with my family and their best interest in mind. I guess you could say my family is the light that guides me through the journey of life.

I am grateful for my friends.
I've mentioned in my previous posts how I don't have many friends. And that's the truth. My luck with friends is as poor as it has been with my lovers but I am extremely grateful for the few friends that I have. I know that my friends are people that I can trust and most importantly, I know they are loyal and truly care about me. My friends are there for me when I need them as I am there for them when they need me.

[Note: Not all of my friends are in this picture. Unfortunately, I do not have a picture with all of them together so I chose the most recent picture I have]

I am grateful for my education.
I cannot begin to express how thankful I am to have been born in the United States, where there are endless opportunities in terms of education. Education, to me, is of utmost importance. I am grateful for having been able to not only gain an education but to have been able to choose to study what I am interested in. I plan on pursuing a Ph.D. as well and for all of this, I am grateful.

I am grateful for my job.
Another passion of mine is my job. While I don't necessarily envision myself teaching throughout my entire lifetime, it is what I do now and I can honestly say that I love it. To be able to touch and even change the lives of children is such a great feeling. To be able to teach them what I have learned allows me know that I am making a great contribution to humankind. For my job (and my students), I am grateful.

I am grateful for my health.
I don't have a picture to represent my health, per say. I thought about maybe putting a picture that shows me perhaps doing something athletic like running or skating or something. But then I realized that the simple fact that I am able to keep this blog and share all these wonderful things about my life is sufficient proof that I have my good health. Without my health, I know that I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do. That is why, slowly but surely, I have been making modifications to my lifestyle in hopes that my health will only progress and that I will remain healthy for many years to come.

Her Shadow

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 22:32:00 +0000

Looking through old notebooks, I found this:

I hate the fact that you're confused.
I try my hardest for you to love me.
However, with every attempt I make,
I feel her shadow hanging over me.

There is not a day that passes
In which I do not think of her.
It seems as though her memory
Is in your every thought.

I do not know her.
I've never met her.
I don't even know the color of her hair.
But I do know that she's still there.

She Walked In

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 22:26:00 +0000

Looking through old notebooks, I found this:

She walked in that night
Feeling quite frightened.
What happened was unexpected
And what she expected was not there.

She expected to find him there.
For him to pick her up and leave
To a place where they can be alone
And share a night of pleasure.

She expected to see his face
After she awaited so long.
She wanted to feel his kiss
But his lips were gone.

His hair as she had envisioned it was not there;
He had gone bald.
His skin was no longer tanned
For he had gone pale.

Maybe this lover that she remembered
Was perhaps another man.
But they both had the same name;
They both wore the same face.

The difference was
That the man she saw that night,
Was the one that seemed so familiar
Yet he couldn't remember her ever crossing his sight.

Writer's Block

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:13:00 +0000

I have been wanting to write on here for the past few days. Yes, despite all the FUN I've been having ;D BUT, as the subject line reads, I've been having writer's block. So, dear readers, any ideas? I'm collecting random questions that you may want me to answer in my blog or topics you may want to read about. Go ahead, you know you want to!!!!

I wouldn't be surprised if my dog learned to do this...

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 16:10:00 +0000

It's over?!

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 15:56:00 +0000

I [just] found out that I go back to work on Tuesday. For whatever reason, I thought I was due back on Thursday but I had forgotten that I had opted two days in order to miss two teacher planning days throughout the school year. And OMG... I can't believe that the summer is over. I mean, it feels like I haven't had a vacation at all, what with my internship and all. Yes, I'm excited to meet my new students but no, I don't want to meet them just yet.

The good news, however, is that I was able to take a sneak peek into my class list and I noticed that there actually appears to be an even amount of boys and girls in my classes. Last year I had classes comprised of 18 boys and 2 girls. Imagine that! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying "girls rule all" or anything like that but I can't lie and say boys are just as good in school or are interested in school in the same way. They're not. I've noticed that a class full of boys soon turns into a "Let's see who's the rawest/ toughest guy here" or a "Let's see who can go out first with the only girl sitting in the class". As you can imagine, this could make teaching a difficult task.

My Birthday/ Graduation Week!

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 04:10:00 +0000

I had soooooo much fun! Here's a YouTube video I put together of the week's events. Hope you enjoy it :D

Super Duper Quick Post

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:13:00 +0000

I just wanted to say that:

TODAY WAS MY LAST DAY IN MY MASTER'S PROGRAM!
WOOT!
I AM SO EXCITED!!!! :D

Now... on to bigger and better things. I already applied to a Ph.d. program... let's see where that leads me.

Envy

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 23:08:00 +0000

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” ~ Winston Churchill
This is my new favorite quote! :D Recently I was thinking about all the people in my life with whom I've had a "falling out". I began to feel pretty bad about some, not most, but some of these people with whom I no longer speak with. Then, I came across this beauty of a quote and realized that there is so much truth and so much power in it. I realized that it is not my job to please everyone around me. It is not my job to adopt the beliefs of others either. And, it is definitely not my job to beg others for forgiveness.

Yeah, I've made my mistakes in my life just like I'm sure everyone else in this world has. I have apologized when it was due. Sometimes I was forgiven and many other times, I was not. Yet, why should I allow this to bring me down? I can't think of even one reason why I should. It is the decision of others to accept my apology or not, right?

Like this quote states, when you stand up for something, be it your beliefs or views, people are bound to disagree with you. Humans interact and humans differ. This has happened to me plenty of times. But instead of seeing this as a negative thing, I see it as a positive. I have my beliefs and I stand up for myself.

Then again, this quote also brings to light the main reason why so many of my "friends" departed in the past and as the subject on this post reads, that reason is envy. I have realized, even though I don't understand it, that many people are envious of others, especially when that other person is successful. I honestly don't mean to come across as arrogant in this post, and believe me, I am far from believing I'm superior to others. However, I do realize and am proud to say that I have definitely accomplished much more than many others my age. I'm 26 years old and I have a career and a graduate level education. I can't say the same for many people my age.

So when someone decides to bash me and belittle me for my accomplishments, it kind of humors me because it gives me insight to what they're really feeling inside. Why else would you depreciate someone else's success other than because of envy? This leads me to this following thought... It is not my duty to make others feel good about themselves and trust me, this is something I have spent most of my life doing. It is everyone's own duty to feel good about themselves on their own. I have done that on my own. Yes, there are many things I'd like to change but I'm not going to scoff at someone because they have that thing I want.

In other words, if you know there are things you want for yourself... get up and earn these things! Don't just sit there and envy others because they did something for themselves. That is both unfair and pathetic.

The End.

My Life According to The Cure

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 20:53:00 +0000

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on if you wish and include me. You can't use the artist I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Post as "My life according to (artist name)".

Pick your Artist: The Cure

Describe yourself:
Out of this World
How do you feel:
Cold
Describe where you currently live.
Ocean
If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Fascination Street
Your favorite form of transportation:
Pirate Ships :D
Your best friend is:
World In My Eyes
You and your best friends are:
Pornography
What's the weather like:
Hot Hot Hot
Favorite time of day:
10:15 Saturday Night
If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
The Walk
What is life to you:
Treasure
Your relationship:
Strange Attraction
Your fear:
The End of the World
What is the best advice you have to give:
So What
Thought for the Day:
Trust
How would you like to die:
Stop Dead
Soul's present condition:
Faith

Teacher Man

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 21:10:00 +0000

I started reading Angela's Ashes a few days ago and yes, it upsets me that I'm reading it now that Frank McCourt has passed away. He died recently, on July 19th...just a little over a week ago. I found out through Twitter (of all places) and to be honest, I was a bit crushed. Yes, he was 78 years old and I know that many people will argue that Michael Jackson's death at the age of 50 was a lot more tragic, yet, I never bothered to write a word about Jackson's death. Why? Because it was insignificant to me, as harsh as that may sound. Jackson's music didn't quite "impact" my life. His music didn't inspire me nor make my life easier to comprehend. What he did and what he stood for was the opposite of what I live for. Frank McCourt, on the other hand, did inspire me. He wrote Teacher Man, a memoir that I hold very dear to my heart. Why is this memoir so special to me? Allow me to explain.

I read Teacher Man during my first year teaching high school. Yes, I currently love my job, as I've mentioned before, but I'm not going to sit here and lie by telling you it was all gardens and roses and pots of gold since the start. It wasn't perfect then and well, it isn't perfect now. I've learned that teaching is quite the journey and I've learned to accept that as the truth. However, when I first made the switch from business to teaching, I knew I was giving up a lot of money and something I knew for a fact I was good at in order to pursue my career in teaching. I had my goals and my aspirations and little did I know it was going to be so difficult to attain them. Till this day, I doubt I've attained even half of those goals.

I cried a lot during that first year teaching. I cried and was filled with regret about having left my high paying job. So many times I was tempted to just walk out during lunch time and never return. I even envisioned what would happen. Would I receive a phone call? Would anyone even notice? Yes, I felt that alone in the school... that alone in my new chosen career.

But... Teacher Man then came into my life and taught me a very significant lesson or two. I learned that I definitely was not alone in regards to my feelings of insecurity and desperation. I learned that other teachers, like McCourt, went through the exact same things I was going through. I was able to read about his journey... and I was able to learn from it. Knowing that I was not as alone as I felt made returning to my classroom on a daily basis so much easier. I slowly began to think about my insecurities and learned to find ways in which to overcome them. Heck, I was even inspired to write my own memoir! But there's still a ways to go before I'll share more about that.

THE QUOTE OF THE DAY? OR OF THE YEAR?

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 19:48:00 +0000

"One realizes that human relationships are the tragic necessity of human life; that they can never be wholly satisfactory, that every ego is half the time greedily seeking them, and half the time pulling away from them."

Willa Cather (1873-1947)

This quote by Willa Cather speaks the truth. Its words are so true that it literally brought chills up my spine as I read them. It isn't very often that a quote encompasses my thoughts in such a way that it seems as though the words were spoken from my very own mouth.

I have met many people in my short life and honestly, I'm not sure that's a very good thing or even something to be proud of. As the quote states, human relationships are a tragic necessity of life. Again, so true. In fact, I think that's the part of the quote I relate to the most. There have been numerous times where I have felt like simply running away from everyone I have ever known... moving to a place where everything will be new and fresh. I have envisioned a carefree life where I know no one and no one knows me. This vision has almost always brought a smile to my face, not because I'm anti-social nor because I despise humankind, but basically because it soothes me to know that I can detach from the past. As you can most likely tell from my choice of words, most of the people I have encountered in my life have not been of the most positive kind. I have met numerous liars, hypocrites, people driven my greed and selfishness, conceited individuals, then of course those who are anything but an individual and instead are dependent people who feel a need to drag everyone down. I have also had many "friends" that have later betrayed that friendship only for their own benefit.

So yes, there have been so many times in which I have just wanted to live my life friendless and basically void of any type of relationship at all. But then, when I really think about it, it's nearly impossible to achieve a life without any form relationship hence, why the quote describes them as a necessity. Yes, life would be so much easier, less painful, and less deceiving. Yet, it'd also be almost unworthy of living. We associate with people on a daily basis, unless of course, you seclude yourself in your home in which case you'd end up delirious most likely. I've had relationships form from a simple exchange at a grocery store. And how many people haven't met their best friend or even their spouse in the most insignificant of places? Even online, on Blogger, you continuously relate to other human beings. You read their blog and they read yours. You comment, they comment. You meet people in almost everything you do. So basically, regardless of how often you may want to "pull away" from a relationship, it is almost inevitable that you will somehow be sucked right back in.

I guess the important thing to learn is how to make the best of them and of course, to detach from those that you learn are rotten relationships.

Labret Piercing

noreply@blogger.com (Adri) — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:09:00 +0000

I was aching for another piercing and decided I'd suck it up and get the labret piercing I had been longing for...BUT the minute I saw it on my face, just there, sticking out right below my bottom lip, I realized I didn't LOVE it. I'm one who believes that if you don't LOVE something, it definitely doesn't belong anywhere near you, especially not on your FACE.

Here I am the night I got pierced...

Eeeekk!!! Me no likey this piercing too much...

Back to my normal monroe and nose pierced self =D